WHERE'S VINCE? Been a while since anyone made any guesses, but Dennis Hart
predicted Vince and Shane would come back at No Way Out and you were half
right. Since your not totally right, you don't get the grand prize (Don't
feel too bad, there is no grand prize).

WWF Title followed directly by the Raw Is War title sequence and the
standard pyros. Hmm, no video from last night. Odd. Welcome to the
world's most famous arena Madison Square Garden in the city, county and
state of New York.

1..2..is this on? HHH comes out to start the show. Man, I spilled my
popcorn. Damnit. HHH said he shouldn't be out here basking in the glory of
the greatest match of his life. He said he should be out here savoring the
moment, but he just can't do it. Last night, Mick and HHH about destroyed
each other. It was just about a month ago is this arena they about
destroyed each other. HHH says he's learned over that time he has more
respect for Mick than anyone in his life. WHAT IS HHH DOING? Loud "She's a
ho" champ. HHH says he's paying respect to Mick because Mick earned HHH's
respect and everyone else has that same respect for Mick. Steph looks a
little pissed that HHH is doing this. HHH says the guys in production put
together a little package that chronicled his career. He tells Kevin Dunn
to hit the package.

They show a video package of Mick's career from Mankind to Cactus to Dude
Love to Mankind back to Cactus. A Foley chant breaks out and DX's music
hits and the video package turns into DX kicking the crap out of Mick and
other embarrassing shots including Dude after being sodomized by Dick Zuck,
Mick scratching his ass. Mick's DIVA pics and Mick scooping dog crap.

HHH says the WWF will never be the same without Mick. It will be a million
times better. Steph grabs the stick and says Mick really does have a lot to
look forward to. Instead of being a fat, smelly, disgusting loser. He can
be a fat, smelly, retired loser all thanks to HHH. No Chance hits AND out
comes Shane with the Big Show. I just saw the sign of the night THAT A BOY
SHANE. My thoughts exactly. Shane tells HHH to back up. Shane says
because Daddy's little girl shattered his heart and drove him out of the
busiess doesn't mean she's in control. She actually drove Vince into a
different business. Shane isn't going to let that happen. Shane's been
waiting to pick his exact spot to come in with a big fashion and it
happened. He's been looking to align himself with a champion and he's not
talking about HHH, nor is he talking about that eyebrow rising champion, The
Rock. That egomaniac primadonna (YES, YES, YES!! I love this). The
champion Shane's talking about is over 7' tall and over 500 lbs and will
snap a man's back in a matter of seconds. A Rocky chant starts and Rocky's
music hits.

The Rock says congratulations to the four of them. not for Rock making his
tiumphant return during the Rock's match, no Steph not for being the biggest
tramp in NYC, no BS not for going to WM, no HHH, not for keeping the title.
Congratulations for being the biggest assholes.....(something major got
beeped out.) The Rock says last night, BS beat the Rock. Unlike BS, Rock
isn't going to bitch and complain. The Rock guarantees he's going to WM and
he guarantess he's going to be the champion. HHH says this was an A-B
converstation and Rock should C his way out of it. HHH says this was a
conversation between a champion and a No. 1 contender. Asshole chant starts
and HHH says the Rock is out here for you entertainment so don't treat him
like that. HHH says this conversation isn't for has beens. HHH says Rock
goes back to the bottom. HHH does his impression of Rock doing his
impression of HHH and HHH tells Rock he will step in this very ring
one-on-one with New York's own Brookly Brawler. HHH asks Rock if he
understands if you smellllllll ow what the game is playing. Shane says to
make sure there are no mistakes, the only chance Rock has going to
Wrestlemania is No Chance in Hell.

Acolytes shown backstage and Hardy's come up and ask what they hell they did
last night. Hardy's says their not here to fight, they're here for payback.
They're not barroom brawlers, they want a match in the ring tonight.

Commercial

WWF Slam of the Week brought to you by Snickers....Terri
shoving Jeff Hardy off the Top Rope and the Acolytes assulting the
Hardy's.

Moments ago...Hardy's confronting the Acolytes.

Hardy Boys vs. Acolytes
Matt with a suicide plancha, but gets caught. Jeff with a sucide plancha.
Back in the ring, Matt and Jeff double team Farooq. All of a sudden, it's
Farooq and Bradshaw on Matt. Bradshaw stays in and whips Matt and hits him
with a big boot for a two count. Bradshaw sits Matt on the top rope, but
Matt fights back with a tornado DDT. Jeff tagged in, but gets leveled right
away. Jeff with a forearm after a whip then goes for a crossbody and gets
caught into a fallaway slam. Farooq in for a two count. Jeff with an inside
cradle for a two then gets leveled by Farooq. Jeff gets thrown into
Bradshaw's boot and Farooq continues to beat Jeff down. Bradshaw tagged in
and hits a huge clothesline. Bradshaw draws Matt in. Bradshaw carries Jeff
to the corner and tags in Farooq. Farooq with some rights on Jeff. Farooq
goes for the Dominator, but Jeff slips out and levels Farooq. Bradshaw
tagged in and he knocsks Matt down to prevent the tag. Jeff goes into the
corner and makes a blind tag while executing a backflip over Bradshaw. That
was the sweetest tag you'll ever see. Jeff rolls out of the ring with
Farooq following. Matt hits the twist of fate on Bradshaw for the
pinfall.
Winners: Hardy Boys via Twist of Fate

Angle shown talking to an usher explaining which belt weighs more and why.
I personally think this angle is hilarious.

Commercial

European Title Match
Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle
Angle's music hits and he comes out thanking New York City. Unlike Darryl
Strawberry, the only thing he is addicted to his capturing championships.
He says he is willing to put the Euro title on the line to anyone. As a man
of integrity, any wrestler is more than welcome to take the Olympic
Challenge. Anyone else notice Angle's music is not new. I was watchig Badd
Blood and Survivor Series 97. The Patriot and Vader used that music as did
The American Team at SS. Rikishi accepts the challenge. Rikishi dominating
Angle. Rikishi drops the leg after a powerslam. Angle crawls in the corner
and Rikishi goes to put his ass in Angles face. Angle with a modified chop
block to get out of the way. After a few more chop blocks, Rikishi hits the
samoan drop. He throws Angle in the corner then sits on Angle and rubs his
backside in Angle's face. Angle grabs the belts and walks away. Angle
grabs the mic and tells Rikishi the people came to see a wrestling match,
not Rikishi's butt in his face. Jericho's music hits. Jericho tells Angle
he is a giant ass and people want to see Angle get the stink face once
again. Angle thrown back in the ring and Rikishi hits the Rikishi Driver.
Rikishi pulls Angle to the corner and hits the Bonzai Drop. The Radicals
come down and attack Jericho, Chyna, and Rikishi. Too Cool comes down and
cleans house. I was really hoping Rikishi would win the belt. Maybe he
could give some credit back to the belt. Rikishi tries to leave, but Sexay
stops him. Jericho and Chyna try to leave, but Sexay and Scotty stop them.
They got thos magic shades for Chyna and Jericho. Too Cool's music hits and
all five of them dance. That had to be the funniest thing I've seen in a
while. Chyna wasn't very good, but Jericho was hilarious.
Winner: Rikishi via Countout

Commercial

Moments ago....Rikishi bombing Angle

Michael Cole interviewing Jericho. Cole asks Jericho what happened.
Jericho starts to talk, but Saturn tries to get to Jericho. Saturn issues a
challange to Jericho.

Edge/Christian vs. Headcheese
Terri comes ringside with a garbage bag of something and Terri joins the
announce team. Snow comes out and says no one knows better than he does
that you need a personality and an entrance to get over with the fans.
Blackman comes out to new entrance music and Steve doesn't look to happy.
Edge and Snow start in the ring. JR asks Terri why she turned her back on
the Hardy's. Terri says the Hardy's only came twice a week to see her
instead of seven. Christian tagged in and gets a two count. Blind tag by
Blackman. Snow with a drop toe hold and Blackman with a leg drop. Blackman
with a snap suplex then headbutts to the heart. A headcheese chant starts.
Blackman with a backbreaker and he goes to the middle rope. Blackman with
an elbow to Christians back. Snow tagged in and hits a bridging german
suplex for two. Snow hits a scoop slam and he goes to the top. Edge walks
down the rope distracting the ref and Christian crothches Snow. Edge and
Blackman tagged in. Spinning heel kick by Edge and Snow breaks it up. Edge
sets up for the spear, but Snow trips him up. Terri pulls a cheese hat out
of her bag and Blackman gets distracted. Christian hits a drop kick and
Blackman walks right into Edge's spear. Edge and Christian look confused
about Terri being on their side. Why are they complaining? I read I think
on the LoP message boards about Edge using the spear. I don't agree with
the reasoning behind what that person said (Edge isn't big enough to use
that move), but I don't think he should use it. The downward spiral is a
much better move.
Winners: Edge/Christian via Spear

Commercial

Rock vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Trivia time. What history does Rock have with Steve Lombardi (Brooklyn
Brawler)? The answer at the end of the match. Whoa, no catchphrases from
Rock? Rock attacks Brawler before he can even get in the ring. Rock
beating down Brawler on the ramp. Back in the ring, Braler gets some kicks
in the corner. Rock reverses and gets Brawler in the corner. Beats him
with some rights and then hits the Rock Bottom for the win. Rock says HHH
thinks he's really cute. Trivia answer...Rock had his VERY first wrestling
match against the Brooklyn Brawler in Corpus Christi, TX in a dark
match.
Winner: Rock via Rock Bottom

Rock says HHH thinks he's going to beat Brawler and go back to his hotel.
Rock says that ain't gonna happen. He don't want to leave New York City.
He calls out HHH. He's says it won't be a title match. It won't be a No. 1
contender match. It will be a Rock kicking HHH's ass. Steph tries to hold
HHH back and Shane's music hits. Shane tells HHH to chill. Shane says Rock
will start going at him then asks to put the title up. Shane says the WWF
championship will be defended at Wrestlemania against the Big Show. Rock
says if Wrestlemania is going to be HHH and Big Show, WM will absolutely
suck! Steph says Rock has one last chance. If he can pin either HHH or Big
Show tonight in a handicap match, Rock can become the No. 1 contender. HHH
says if he don't pin either one, this is Rock's last chance. The repeats
what Steph just said and It doesn't matter if that's the Rock's last chance.
He says he will kick their ass tonight if you smell what the Rock is
cooking. So far, this is the Rock I like. No repetitive catch phrases, but
he's actually cutting good promos.

Commercial

Chirs Jericho w/Chyna vs. Perry Saturn w/Dean Malenko
Chyna's music hits and she comes out with that neat cannon thingie. Saturn
goes right after Jericho. Jericho hits a clothesline and takes Saturn down
to the mat. Jericho with stiff chops. Saturn hangs on to a whip and hits a
T-Bone suplex. Saturn drives his should into Jericho's midsection. Jericho
was scoop slammed but gets out of the way of a middle rope leg drop. Saturn
with more chops and whips Jericho into the other corner and Jericho gets the
boot up. Saturn whipped into the corner and Jericho hits a bulldog.
Jericho misses a clothesline and Saturn goes for a hurricanrana, but Jericho
hangs on and powerbombs him. Jericho goes for the lionsault, but Malenko
pulls the rope out of his way. Malenko attacks both Jericho and Chyan.
Chyan thrown in the ring and T-Boned by Saturn. Jerhico back in and he gets
attacked in the corner. Saturn sets up for a suplex, but Chyna low blows
him. Jericho hits the lionsault while Malenko is held out of the ring by
Chyna.
Winner: Chris Jericho via Lionsault

DX shown backstage and Road Dogg and X-Pac arguing with BA about who's going
to wrestle the tag title match tonight. HHH comes in and says Edge and
Christian are the no. 1 contenders, but HHH is going to use some executive
stroke. HHH says X-Pac and Dogg are in the match. Billy takes it
personally and tells HHH that with one arm, he's better than HHH. Billy
gets beat down by X-Pac and HHH.

Commercial

Moments ago...Billy Gunn gets attacked by HHH and X-Pac and it looks like
even Road Dogg was in there. This makes no sense. I thought they'd try to
break Road Dogg away from the group so he can actually turn face.

Hardcore Title Match
Mark Henry w/Mae Young vs. Crash Holly
The fans start chanting Elroy in the direction of Crash. Holly tries to tie
up, but Henry is too big. Holly baseball slides out and looks underneath
the ramp. He doesn't get nothing before Henry gets to him. Back to the
ring, Henry is thrown into the ring post and he goes underneath the ring for
a 2x4. Henry thrown back in and Crash kicks him down in the corner. Henry
whips Crash into the corner and splashes him. Crash thrown halfway across
the ring. Mae gets in the ring and stops Henry. Mae does a splash of her
own on Crash. She starts clutching her stomach and Mark calls for the
EMT's. Moolah, and the EMT's come out. They roll her onto the stretcher.
I'm all for this love angle, but this pregnancy angle didn't work with
Terri, Val, and D'Lo and it's definately not working this time. Why even
have a match like this? It was a complete waste of time. My Hans Moleman
quote from last week fits here, but I don't want to use it in case someone
bitches about me not citing my sources (like this is a formal essay or
something, geez) Anyway, this needs to stop. I can't remember the last
time I said that about a WWF angle, but this isn't entertaining and it can't
be drawing ratings because no one gives a rats ass.
Winner: Crash Holly only because you can't have a no contest in a
hardcore match

Commercial

Moments ago...Mae attempting the splash. We are told Mae is in labor which
would be impossible because if she was pregnant, it would only be 3-4
months. Mae is shown backstage being stretchered into a room to deliver
because they can't make it to the hospital.

Tazz vs. Chris Benoit w/Eddie Guerrero
My damn shirt is on backorder from the Shopzone. Do they actually get stuff
in because everytime I've ordered something, it's been backordered. I need
a tape of Tazz's music. His music has surpased HHH and Jericho's as my
favorite. Collar and Elbow tie up and Benoit ends up with his back in the
corner. The ref breaks it up and Benoit throws Tazz in the ropes. An elbow
followed by a suplex for a two count. Tazzplex by Tazz, but the ref is
distracted by Eddie. Tazz picks Benoit up and hits a modified spinebuster,
but Eddie distracts the ref again. Teddy Long throws Eddie out of here.
Eddie goes to the back. Tazz whips Benoit into the rope, but Chris hangs
on. Chris hits his rolling german suplex, but on the third one, Tazz locks
on the Kata Hajime, but Bossman and Prince Albert attack Tazz. Benoit hits
the third suplex and Albert keeps drilling Tazz. Tazz gets up and fights
bafck. He locks on the Kata Hajime on Bossman, but Albert breaks it up.
Bossman gets a chair and Albert hits a chokepowerbomb. Albert picks Tazz up
in the reverse fireman' carry and hits a modified neckbreaker on the chair.
Bossman gets on the stick and says Tazz sucks as much as NYC does. Bossman
says the mood is about to change. DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT. What is up with
the last 10 minutes. They've absolutely sucked. They ruined what could
have been a GREAT technical match with Tazz and Benoit. I coulda watched
them trade suplexes for an hour and not complained.
Winner: Tazz via DQ

Mae Young shown backstage with Henry, Patterson, Moolah, and Brisco with an
EMT getting ready to have the baby. She says she's ont having the baby
until she gets a cigar. Gerald gets her a cigar and she calms down.
Patterson lights her cigar. The ONLY EMT in the room asks Mae the last time
she had her period. Mae says 1957. The EMT takes Henry aside and asks if
he's sure he impregnated Mae. Brisco looks under the cover and almost loses
his lunch.

Commercial (A commercial for the 12 hour Wrestlemania package. If anyone is
planning on getting ALL 12 hours, let me know. I need to find someone to
get it from.) Time to read Tyler's Nitro Report to see if I need to tape the replay.

Mae is shown again backstage and she farts (?) nausiating everyone in the
room. Moolah is telling Mae to push and the EMT says he can't get it.
Patterson goes for a pair of plyers and the EMT reaches in and brings out a
hand. What the hell?! At least they make a joke and Patterson says to give
Mae a hand. What is the point? Seriously?

Tag Team Title Match
Dudley Boyz vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg w/Tombstone Tori
Dudleys set up some tables outside the ring. DX comes out to Road Dogg's
music. Tori is wearing the SAME top, but at least she has accessorized with
a jacket. Road Dogg and X-Pac jump in and try to ambush the Dudleys. D-Von
sends X-Pac out. Modified 3-D on Road Dogg. Buh-Buh suplexes Road Dogg and
knocks x-Pac off the apron. Buh-Buh wish bones Rod Dogg then punches him in
the stomach. D-Von tagged in and hits an elbow on Road Dogg. Snap mare by
D-Von into a submission neck breaker on Road Dogg. Road Dogg gets some
rights and hits a sunset flip. Buh-Buh calling for the tag, but D-Von can't
reach. Road Dogg pulls D-Von over for two. D-Von gets up and hits a
clothesline and tags Buh-Buh. Buh-Buh with a series of elbows for a two.
Buh-Buh and Road Dogg exchange Flair chops and Road Dogg hammers on Buh-Buh.
Road Dogg into the ropes and ducks the clothesline. RD jukes and jives,
but has to finish on D-Von. Buh-Buh regains his balance and levels Road
Dogg. RD in the corner and hits a boot to Buh-Buh. X-Pac tagged in a hits
a couple spinning heel kicks. Buh-Buh misses in the corner and X-Pac hits
the bronco buster. Halfway through the move. Kane's music hits. Kane
comes down and chokeslams Road Dogg, then D-Von, then Buh-Buh Ray. X-Pac
has long since retreated.
Winners: No Contest. That's two so far tonight

Commercial

HHH, Steph, Shane and Big Show shown talking backstage. Can they get
along?

A REAL video package of Mick Foley shown to the tune of "I Will Remember
You" If Mick Foley is NOT done (and I don't think he is), I don't like
seeing this. If he is done, this was a great tribute to the man who's put
his body on the line to entertain us. The MSG crowd gives him a standing
ovation and chants Foley.

Commercial

5 weeks to Wrestlemania

No. 1 Contender handicap match
Big Show/HHH w/Shane and Steph vs. Rock
HHH and Big Show argue over who's going to start. HHH overruled Big Show
and went right after Rock. HHH with some punches into the corner. HHH gets
leveled by a clothesline and thrown over the ropes. Rock knocks Big Show
off the apron and Rock goes outside to get HHH. They fight back up the
ramp. Big Show comes up from behind and hits Rock. Big Show has Rock in a
headlock and drags him back to the ring. Rock gets his face introduced to
the guardrail and gets thrown in the ring. Rock with a clothesline on HHH
and HHH hits a neckbreaker. Big Show tagged in. Big Show with a
backbreaker and a leg drop on Rock. HHH tagged in and he gets a shot to
Rock's midsection. HHH kicks Rock down in the corner. HHH chokes Rock.
Hebner breaks it up. Big Show tagged in. HHH with a suplex and Big Show
hits an elbow drop. Big Show headbutts Rock right into the wrong corner.
HHH tagged in Rock gets a head of steam and goes after HHH. HHH sidesteps
the Rock and throws him outside. Big Show goes after him and knocks him
back in the ring. HHH with the knee to the face for a two count. Big Show
tagged in. Boot to the midsection by Big Show. Big Show with a headlock
and tags HHH back in. Kick to the midsection by HHH. Rock and HHH trade
rights till Rock gets momentum. Rock hits a swinging neckbreaker. Rock
goes for a back body drop, but instead gets a knee to the face. Big Show
tagged in. BS and HHH double team Rock. Rock ducks a clothesline and BS
hits HHH. Rock with a DDT on Big Show. All three guys are down. Rock and
HHH up first. Rock with a spinebuster on HHH. Big Show knocked out of the
ring. Shane knocked off the apron. Rock Bottom on HHH. The worst move in
wrestling hit on HHH. Shane maeks the save and Hebner calls for the bell.
Rock gets up pissed and HHH goes after Rock. Rock turnes around and Shane
low blows Rock. Big Show, HHH, and Shane tripe team Rock. Rock gets a
chokeslam from Big Show. That is?!?!?!?!?! What kind of ending is
that?!?!
Winner: Rock via DQ

That was a WEAK show. Especially after such a great PPV (or so I've heard)
Not enough closure. Just my opinion. See ya next Sunday.