WWF Smackdown Report
March 02, 2000

The Radicals beat Chris Jericho & Too Cool
-Party time. This was a great, stiff match that lasted about 5:50. God bless the WWF nowadays. Sexay hit a nasty sunset flip to the floor on Benoit. He’s still feeling that one. Huge “Y2J” chants, and the crowd was in it the entire way. Malenko’s subtle comedy stuff is hilarious. Finish saw Scotty go for the pin, but Benoit hit the headbutt from the top for the win.

Shane and Big Show came out of a limo.

Jeff Hardy beat Essa Rios.
-Vince, all is forgiven for the MSG catastrophe. Match lasted 4:19. All action, although there was one blown spot where Essa tried to moonsault over Jeff and came up short. To make things worse, they tried the same spot again and didn’t do it quite right, but it was better. Finish saw Essa get DQ’d when Lita moonsaulted Jeff. After the match, Essa cut a promo on Lita that I translated into, “That’s two matches you have cost me. I am the man and you are the woman.” The fans booed, since, you know, people that speak other languages are EVIL.

Snow and Blackman were at a bar in hilarious matching hawaiian shirts, and Snow said he set up a blind date for Blackman.

Shane and Big Show cut a promo. Shane said he wouldn’t let the Rock rise to the top of the WWF like Vince let Austin. Rock came out and challenged Shane and Show to a match tonight. Rikishi came out and volunteered to be Rock’s partner. That’s our main event.

They showed Blackman’s blind date, who did the non-stop talking routine. Well, ANYTHING is better than the Mae Young comedy.

Angle and Sgt. Slaughter got into an argument backstage. They set up a match. Oh boy.

Crash Holly pinned Tazz to retain the Hardcore Title.
-Real quick, they immediately brawled backstage. Bossman came in and attacked Tazz, and then ended up in a meat locker. Albert attacked him, Crash broke a two-by-four over his head, and beat him.

Blackman’s date continued to annoy him.

Road Dog & X-Pac beat Edge & Christian.
-Great stuff while Pac was in, not so great when Dogg was in. Solid overall. Dogg did some pathetic poem before the match. Teri came out and got some loud chants. At the finish, she slapped Edge, distracting Christian, and allowing the New New Age Outlaws to win. They teased dissension between Edge and Christian afterwards.

APA commercial, where they did a parody of Pulp Fiction discussing foot rubs while walking up the stairs to their job. The APA were discussing the value of a man and his stash.

Test beat Viscera .
-Shockingly not awful. They accidentally did some innovative stuff, like Test jumping off the guardrail onto Vis in the crowd. Test got the clean win with the elbow from the top.

Kurt Angle beat Slaughter.
-Angle said Slaughter used to be his hero, but instead of representing his three I’s, he now represents the three B’s: Bald, bloated, and bonehead. Once again, shockingly not bad. They started out with some mat work. Slaughter his the cobra clutch, but Angle reached the ropes. Slaughter took his patented bump over the top turnbuckle to the floor. Angle won with his finisher. He then hilariously celebrated afterwards in the back.

Kane beat The Dudleys in a handicap match.
-Not sure of the story of the match. Solid, but certainly unspectacular. Dudleys did a lot of bumping for the big guy. Finish saw Kane chokeslam D-Von off the apron through a table for the DQ finish.

They did a skit in the parking lot with Crash and Mean Street Posse that I didn’t understand. There was a ref out there, and it appeared to be an impromptu match. Crash got in his car and left while the Posse exchanged blows. Sorry for being so vague, but I didn’t get this.

It was scheduled to be Shane McMahon & Big Show vs. Rock & Rikishi. Shane announced that he wanted to spare the Rock a beating, so he decided to have a replacement for himself. It was Triple H.

Big Show & Triple H beat Rock & Rikishi.
-This match was play, but anticlimactic after the great matches that had started the show and the great tag main events we had been getting. Show and Triple H got some illegal chairshots on Rikishi’s leg during the match. Finish had Rock hit the Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow on Triple H for the clean 1–2–3. Some AJPW booking here, I guess. This absolutely guarantees the main event for WrestleMania.